Reality is that many baby boomers, for one reason or another become single as mature adults. Many have been in long term relationship, and they are entering the dating scene for the first time in decades.
It is not easy to establish new relationships, when you are out of practice in the fine art of dating for so long. At best you’re a little shy and at worst you’re terrified. However, that is not the only problem.
Even if you can deal with the fear and the apprehension there is still the question of how to get started.
When we were younger it seems that often we met our potential mates through university, sports, work, friends, etc.
Some boomers get lucky, but for the most part it does not work out for whatever reasons. However, hope springs eternal and the solution is right in front of most of us.
If you have not guessed it by now, I am talking about the computer and online dating.
OK! – I can hear you say “It’s not for me!” Now listen, you read this far, so do yourself a favor and hear me out!
Although online dating should be approached with common sense and caution it has come a long way in recent years.
A good hand full of my single baby boomer friends, both male and female, tell me that they are very comfortable dating online and a few have found their current partner this way.
There is much advice and many tips floating around about how to successfully date online, but here is how you can get started:
First you should find a reputable online dating service. There are many, but if do the following research you should have no problem.
First you type “online dating” into Google and you look at all the sites that come up. Once you have a list of sites you like you do a search on each name. Try adding the word “review” to your search. Eliminate any site you do not find or do not like the look of.
Once you have selected three or four sites, follow them for a few weeks to gauge the level of activity. Regardless if it is a paid or a free site, don’t waste your time if there is no activity. And remember, if something looks too good to be true, it usually is.
So you make your selection and register on a couple of online dating services.
You have written a good, truthful profile and uploaded a nice looking, recent picture of yourself. What now?
How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all?
You need to find out something about who this stranger really is and not just who he or she tries to be. It would be nice if people wore labels like “Gold Digger” “Casanova”, “Mummy’s boy” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out, and you can’t just ask direct questions.
You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this person if you decide you want to do that.
After you are past the initial small talk, ask, “What are the biggest mistakes people make when dating online?” Listen carefully to the answers. It’s going to tell you a lot about this person in general.
Next you should ask, “What do you really think about online dating?” The answer should help you to avoid making any fatal mistakes.
Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?” If someone else is blamed, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If the person takes all the blame, you should probably do the same.
If the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.
Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the person for the first time.
Being in my 50′s and splitting up from my wife of 25 year’s was very hard, it really created a turmoil in my life. Suddenly I was alone, I have never been alone in my whole life, i was still living at home when I meet my wife.
My parents now gone, and my friends scatter all over the country, I had a hard time to move on. I was not in to the bar scene, and the bars you can goto when you are in the 50′s is not a place you find a new partner.
I started to explore the online dating sites, spend a large amount of money without an fruitful connections, start question my markability to finsd another friend/partner.
A year gone by since the brak up and I start getting my old step back, I have found a friend that I meet regular with close to my age, we connect very well with each other.
I meet her online, not at a dating site, I meet her on a social networking site for baby boomers. The site http://www.confluxity.com it’s like a facebook, but for us baby boomers.
I recommend Confluxity to anyone that want to meet people that has the life expereince of going through a marraige, having children, worrying about reitrement, try it.
and it was very hard on me, many sleepless nights, sitting on my computer.
I agree. I run a small website http://dating-sites-portal.blogspot.com/ and I get reviews sent in everyday from Baby Boomers. They have really managed to get a hold of this dating malarkey and are now enjoying their lives in a way they never thought possible before